I love You Zutto!
by GaAiRa
Summary: Hey, Gaara! Do you still remember the first time we met? This is an angsty narugaa ff... well, I'm not good in making summary, so just read it if u want to know the content.


Here is my other Narugaa fanfict I've revised, an angsty one. I've uploaded it in my deviant account though.

I've been confused for finding the title. So, don't blame me if it doesn't suit the story. -_-

Still the same warning, the characters aren't mine. they belong to Masashi-sensei. It's BL story that means it is boy x boy, yaoi, or whatever you call it.

If you hate that kind of story just ignore this one.

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 **I LOVE YOU - ZUTTO!**

Hey, Gaara! Do you still remember the first time we met?

The day of the opening ceremony in our senior high school, I climbed on the wall of the school back yard since I couldn't enter the school through the gate that had been closed. Yes, I was late at the time. When I jumped from the wall to the ground, I fell on top of you. It hurt you, right? Sorry! But I didn't know why I couldn't pull away immediately from you, just staying still while looking at your turquoise eyes that looked so intensely at me. Your eyes were so beautiful. Yes, I was captivated by them since then.

"Get off of me!" you snorted, making me to get my consciousness back and hurriedly parting myself from you. "Gomen! Hountou ni gomen!" I said deeply, bowing my head 90 degrees to you. However, you just stood up and left me without even said a single word.

We were in the same class and it helped me to get closer to you. But, you were so damn cold. You used to be alone and never let anyone to get closer to you. Well, I didn't want to give up on you. I, Uzumaki Naruto was the most persistent boy in the world so I wouldn't lose to you. Moreover, there was something that held me to stay beside you. Something I hadn't understood yet.

I always tried to talk to you, mumbling out something that I didn't really mind of because what in my mind was I could talk to you, staying beside you though you always ignored me.

And did you know how happy I was when finally you smiled at me? It was a great thing in my life. Yes, your little smile was a great thing, a precious thing, I loved it. I loved your smile, your eyes, I loved you. Yeah… I loved you, my redhead.

It needed a long time to finally get you talk back to me. You said that you had a trust issues. That's why you never believed in someone because you're afraid to be betrayed, right? But at the time, I promised that I wouldn't betray you. I would stay by your side no matter what happened because I did love you even you hadn't realized it. It's okay! I loved you. I didn't know how many times I'd repeated this words in my mind.

We're getting a long since you started to believe me and I was happy for that. But, there was something that bothered me so much. My feeling, yes, my feeling for you was growing even deeper. I really got difficulty to hide it. I didn't want to lose you as my friend. However, I couldn't resist my feeling any longer. Therefore, that day, when we're enjoying our time in our favorite place, under a big tree on the hill, I gained my courage to confess my feeling to you. Did you know how afraid I was when I saw your face? Your eyes widened, looking at me in shock. I wanted to run away but suddenly you grabbed my hand. You sighed heavily before finally saying those unbelievable words. "I love you too" yes that line; you said it, making me to feel like I were flying to the heaven. 'Thanks god!' I thought happily, embracing your smaller figure securely. Then, we're dating.

That afternoon in the same place, our favorite place, we're spending our time together, just you and I and that peaceful day. You rested your head on my shoulder, your eyes shut nicely, and your fingers intertwined with mine. Suddenly your mouth started to move, muttering something. "Naruto, you won't leave me right? I – I'm afraid that I'll lose you someday. I can imagine my day after losing you. It will – it will so dark – again", suddenly you said it slowly, leaving an uncomfortable feeling for me.

"Why did you say that? I won't leave you. I – I promise!" I said reassuringly.

"How if you're bored of me?" you asked me that non-sense question. "I won't", I said directly without any hesitation.

"How if there's someone who's better than me?" you kept going, asking me again. "There won't be someone who's better than you for my heart", I said in certainty.

This time you looked at me, your teal eyes were so deep and intense. "How if – how if you die before me?" you asked it with a long pause before you spoke the question completely. I drowned in my deep thought. I didn't understand why you asked it. "It won't happen", I said it, looking at your teal eyes that showed a lot of worries. Finally, I understood that you were really afraid of the loneliness and I, once again promised to myself that I wouldn't let you feel that cruel loneliness again.

You touched my cheek softly; your eyes never left mine. I took your hand that embraced my cheeks, kissing it lightly. Then I gave my warm smile to you, hoping that it could reassure your worried thought. You smiled back and rested back your head on my shoulder. "We will live happily forever", I said and you nodded though we both knew that we didn't live in a fairy tale with such a happy ending. But, it wasn't wrong, right? It was not wrong to have a hope of an eternal happiness.

Since that day your smile grew even wider than the previous one. I liked it. I liked that finally you could smile that bright. I loved you for staying still with me. I loved you my cute redhead.

"Naruto, thanks for lightening my dark heart and giving me the warmth of love. Thank you!" you said, smiling. I smiled back and hugged you tightly. "You mean a lot for me!" you murmured, tightening the hug. "You too, Gaara" my simple answer but it brought a great meaning for us. I leaned in to kiss you on the lips. It was so soft. I wouldn't forget the taste. I loved it. That day was our first anniversary. And that day was the day when we're completely connected. It was the first time we made love. Did you know how happy I was? Thank Gaara for trusting me!

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Now is the same day though it is in a different year. Yeah, this is our second anniversary. And here's I am, standing in front of you but why? Why are you crying? Aren't you happy?

"Gaara, I'm here. Look at me and stop crying, please!" I plea to you but you ignore me.

Can't you see and hear me, Gaara?

"Naruto!"

"Yes, I'm" I answer happily when finally you call my name, but…

"Naruto!"

"Naruto!"

"Naruto!"

You still keep calling me, hugging your knees against your chest.

"Look, I'm here, Gaara!" I speak desperately.

"Naruto!" you call out again.

"Yes, Gaara I'm here for you in our precious day. Can't you see me?"

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Wait…. You can't – you can't see me?

Why?

"You broke your promise. You left me, Naruto." You mutter the words, sobbing even harder.

I left you? I didn't. I – I'm here with you. Do you know how hurt I am to see you crying? So please stop crying!

"You left me alone. You have gone before me. You broke your promise."

I – I have gone?

I? gone? What does it mean?

I'm so confused now…. I really don't understand what it means.

When I try to think it now, those memories come back, hitting my head continuously.

'I have gone' Yes, I have. I remember it now. I have died before you because of that damn accident. I have broken the promise. Sorry, Gaara! Sorry! If I were more careful, everything wouldn't go this way. It was my fault. It was…

Everything looks clear now, so clear that it's enough to make me fall on my knees. I can't accept it. I can't. I can't die before you, Gaara. I can't make you feel that bitter loneliness again.

What should I do now? It hurts to see you crying. I can't bare it any longer.

I raise my hand, trying to wipe your tears on your soft pale cheeks. "Stop crying, please! I – I am so sorry, Gaara!" I speak though I know you won't hear it. Yes, you won't and this fact hurts me so much.

Now, you're staying still like a statue, looking so lifeless. Your eyes shut in pain. I hug you. Hopeful, it can calm you down but of course it can't right? Look, I'm still idiot. Your Naruto is still the same idiot boy as ever.

"Naruto!" my eyes grow wide when you call my name with your soft lips.

"Naruto, you don't leave me? You're still here?" You say it, making me shocked.

"Can you feel it? Can you?" I ask hopefully.

"It's warm. Is that you, Naruto? Y-You come for me? You come for our precious day? You…." everything you're saying makes me want to cry. I don't know what kind of feeling it is. Am I happy that finally you can feel me or am I sad that I only stand beside you as a soul who has left his only one body? But as long as you can feel me, it's ok, right?

"Thank you!" you say it, smiling and sobbing all at once. "Though I can't see you, I still can feel your presence. Now, I believe that you'll stay here with me, forever" you say softly, gripping your chest.

"Yes, even I no longer exist in this world; this heart of mine will always look over and think of you as long as you think of me. I - promise" I whisper, smiling then leaning in to kiss you, to taste your soft lips again. I love you, my redhead. I want you to realize it that I'll always love you and I'll still want you to be happy.

You wipe your tears away and your lips carve your precious smile again.

"I love you, Naruto – always!"

"I love you too, Gaara – zutto!"

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THE END...


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